New Year's Eve! ðð
I'm not celebrating tonight but I'll definitely be reflecting on the year I've had. Its amazing comparing last New Years to today. I've realized there's a time where you have to become a little less selfish and a lot more selfLESS. Less is more! This year I've learned a lot about myself, dealing with love, friends, family and just overcoming obstacles in general. I was able to overcome a really dark time in my life, I became closer with the other half of my family, repaired some friendships and am starting a new career. I have worked hard in 2013 and will continue to work hard into 2014. I feel like I'm in such a good place in my life. Although there are still a few things missing I will continue to work until they are restored.
This past year I was getting over a rough patch. I tried several times to find myself and get out of the dark hole I was in. I was figuring out my life and analyzing all of my situations bit by bit. I was deciding on my next career move. Should I go to school or should I pursue other options?! I was undecided and stressing myself out because of the expectation that is had on people my age. My friends were well into their careers making good money and being able to enjoy vacations and simple pleasures. I felt left behind in a way and was desperate for a break. During this time I was also getting over heartache and lost love. This combination of adversity really had me down. 2012 was rough and going into 2013 was rocky. I took two months to myself to figure out what I wanted in life. What was my purpose? I finally made a decision, set in stone my goals and pursued them. I applied to the job I was just offered back in March. It took 10 long months to get hired. Hard work and persistence really pays off. I also have been trying to get reacquainted with some friends who I had pushed away last year. I have a whole new attitude. I know not everything is always going to be about me and that's ok. It's life. I'm still working at being a better friend. Although I'm still not included in some things I try not to take it personal. I just sit back and tell myself to be patient and in due time they will come around again. I still pray everyday for certain friendships to turn around and I just have to have faith that they will. Life moves on with or without you and I have come to accept that fully. I'm just trying to hop back on the train at this point. I can see the handle, I'm just running for it as fast as I can so I can jump on! But I'm there, it's like that last mile in a race you just need that one good stride to get you there.
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Relationships, whether they are family, friends or significant others, have a huge impact on a person. This year I have had people come into my life and leave my life who have influenced me greatly. I can honestly say though that you should never start something new until you have completely forgiven your past. It's difficult to start up new relationships if you are still trapped in old unhealthy ones. I met someone but the timing was all off. It sucks to sit back and know you let go of something so great because you didn't want to keep the past in the past. You have to let that shit burn. That someone told me you have to communicate and let your feelings be known. Don't hold them in because you are scared or hurt from a past relationship, let your guard down. So many people miss out on opportunities to love simply because of lack of communication and fear of rejection. How do you know that person doesn't feel the same?! Talk, open your mouth, one day you will say it to the right person and they will be receptive. I learned my lesson. I loved, lost, loved again and lost once more this year. Sounds crazy huh?! Seems like a lot for one person in one year lol. Ok technically I was getting over love at the beginning and found it again but it wasn't the right time. I'm leaving this in 2013. The next time I love will be for eternity. Sorry I'm a hopeless romantic. It will happen. Pray and be patient.
Family.
I come from a single family household. I grew up with my moms side of the family and was never really around my dad or my siblings much. I have always talked to them from time to time but I never really felt that close with anyone because I never really got to do family activities with any of them. This year I was able to go on a 7 day cruise with my dad, brother, sister, aunt etc and it was probably one of the best experiences I could have had. I got to actually spend a whole week with everyone and learn things about my family. It gave me a better appreciation for the word and what family really means. I really do love them and was fortunate to get to spend the time with them. It's nice being able to relate to both sides of your parents. Cherish them. You only get one.
Friends.
I touched on my friends a bit earlier but I just want to reiterate how important they are to me. Even though some of them may not look at me the same now I still hold them in very high places in my heart. I wouldn't be where I am today without them. Encouragement and tough love was everything I needed.
The perfect ending to this year was finding out I was hired into a new position. It was a long process but I'm here. I am pleased to share that I start my new job at the end of January. 2014 has a lot in store for me. A new year, a new journey. I'm going into the new year with a positive outlook. Not looking back! Only good things can come from here on out right? After all, I've already been through the worst! This time I'm gonna take the crown without fallin down!
Happy New Year!!!!
~Andy ð
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