All of my close friends know I like to go out and have a good time so this was indeed a challenge. I still went out to social gatherings with friends that drank and although the temptation was there right in front of me, I was able to tough it out and control the urge. I made it 40+ days! I actually started prior to the beginning of Lent. I was very proud of myself and so were the people that are close to me. I felt like it was a big accomplishment and I was able to cleanse my mind and body of all the negative and start with a clear head. Now I am sure you all are wondering how its going now that Easter has passed lol. Yes, I did indulge in my first drink the day after Easter lol but I have not really had the desire to drink that much lately. This was the whole point, so you don't go back into these bad habits so heavily. I didn't like how I acted whenever I was under the influence and friends have even said they like the sober me better. Now don't get it twisted I was never an alcoholic or anything, I just liked to turn up in social settings lol. I plan to stick with trying to drink less. An occasional drink with my friends is ok but I don't want to fall back into my old patterns. I actually like being the sober friend sometimes so I can see how crazy everyone else is and tell the stories the next day haha! The experience was refreshing!
Not only did I give up drinking but I also gave up a very toxic relationship that I was in a well. Part of my getting away process included finding myself and getting the negative out of my life. It was the best decision I could have made! I am back home this week which I am super excited about. I have been gone for two months on my path to recovery from pain, heartache and confusion. I can finally take a breath and say I am happy again. Being home is great but I cant let myself lose sight of things and how far I have come in such a short period of time. I have goals that I set for myself and put into motion while I was away and the work will still continue. I have great friends and a phenomenal support system that I know will keep me on the right path. So many distractions await me here but I have to control myself enough not to slip into my old behaviors again. I know what I need to do, I have a plan and it will be executed!
During my time away I was really able to sit and evaluate my life. I used to always complain about what I wanted, what I didn't have and how I was never going to get it. Excuse my french but all that was bullshit! Take a look at the quote I posted at the beginning of my post. You can't sit and ponder on all the things you don't have because you are indeed spoiling what is right there in front of you. Enjoy what life has given you thus far because there is someone out there who is lacking the things you have now. What you now have are all things that at one time you hoped and prayed for. So rather than complaining and wanting you need to live your life and simply "just do it". One day you will have what you are desiring today. Just don't consume yourself worrying about it.
Obsessive behavior will kill you so kill that shit before it drives you insane. I can say that I have not participated in any type of behavior in two months! Ignorance really is bliss in some cases haha. I just feel like if I'm only concerned with me and mine everything is 10 times better which it is. Man words cant even describe my feelings! Just know I'm backkkk!! Something to leave y'all with as follows....
Don't assume all your bridges are burned just because they aren't opened to traffic anymore. Some may just be closed for reconstruction. Its up to you to make sure they don't reopen. Just be careful and aware at all times, you chose which bridges to burn and which to leave intact. Self-control, don't lose it! Taking the road less traveled!! ;-)
Keep watching my friends! lol Its nice to know I still have followers! ;-)
-Andy *muah*
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